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Showing posts from April, 2011
Building Reconciliation and Closeness in Relationships April 8, 2011

God has made us to be intimate and close with our friends and partners. Often In the midst of conflicts we are really seeking closeness. Unaware of this, often one person withdraws and the other gets angry at the withdrawing. Then, the more the other gets angry, the more the other withdraws. The more we do this, the more it separates us rather than unites us.

However, if we step back and become aware that the problem is not the conflict, but that each is protesting the possible loss of closeness, we can much better work on the root of the problem.
Sue Johnson tells how one can do that in her book “Hold Me Tight”

Another example is the way we hesitate at talking to certain people about hard things. I find it helpful to realize it is perhaps because we fear loosing our relationship with them. Johnson points out, the more we do this, little by little, we will find it builds closeness rather than separation and the ea…