Skip to main content

Separation to Divorce, help!

Image
By

Inline image 1

Hello Friend,          Separation to Divorce, help!           2/2/13

Not sure how to start this, so here goes. In June my wife Lyn ask for a separation. And then in October she asked for a divorce. This separation has taken a major part of my attention and energy since then. This is why you have not received any letters for a long time. This has been a very painful time for me. There have been many sleepless nights and feelings of despair rolling around in me.

In the next weeks or year we hope to work on deciding how to divide up our things and money. I fear it could get full of tension. So I want to ask you to be praying for us that we can keep our relating amicable for the good of us and all our family for the future. Also pray especially for me that I could keep from falling into a defensive attitude which would undermine that.

One hopeful thing is that Lyn and I both want to come out of this friendly for the good of ourselves and all our family. It would be a real gift to come out of this being able to relate to each other amicably. I want to make clear that as I see it, I have been at least 50% responsible for the separation.
One of the church leaders here said, “Going through a divorce is probably one of the most stressful human experiences.” I sense there is a lot of truth in this. This experience has brought me to a new empathy for those that go through separation. In some ways to me it is like Lyn has died.

I have been so fortunate to be invited to be part of a household of 11 at Reba Place Mennonite Fellowship. Here I am able to help take care of one of their members who is disabled as a way of covering my room and board. This makes me feel worthwhile and useful. I get three meals a day and have many people around who are very supportive. It has been such a gift from the Lord. I don’t see how I would have done it trying to live alone during this time.

In spite of the many painful things, God has brought some very good things. One of those is that it has brought us closer together in some ways and for me a new appreciation of each one in our family. I see now I was taking them too much for granted. Also, I came to a new understanding of the significance of losing my parents when I was 12 that I hadn’t seen before.

I have been fortunate to have come across the book What about the Kids (Raising your Children Before, During, and after Divorce) by Judith Wallerstein. It has really helped me to see the negative impact the separation could have on each of us and how to soften it. I strongly recommend it if you know any one dealing with separation. Judith has interviewed more families who have been through divorce than any other person in the USA.

Thank you so much ahead of time for your prayers.
Jim

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

informe de salud

By
  Queridos amigos, Les escribo para informarles que hace unas semanas me diagnosticaron Parkinson vascular. Tenía problemas para mantener el equilibrio y caminar. Vi a un neurólogo y me hicieron una resonancia magnética de mi cerebro, y a partir de eso y de mi historial, me diagnosticaron Parkinson vascular. Me siento muy bien con mi doctora. Mi Parkinson Vascular es causado por mini accidentes cerebrovasculares que bloquean la sangre en la parte del cerebro que controla la marcha. El Parkinson vascular afecta principalmente a la parte inferior del cuerpo, y por lo tanto, afecta la marcha y el equilibrio y regularmente no suele provocar temblores. Es diferente del Parkinson clásico que es causado por la falta de dopamina. El tratamiento principal para el Parkinson vascular es tratar de detener los accidentes cerebrovasculares manteniendo bajo control factores como la presión arterial y el colesterol; esto puede evitar que la enfermedad progrese. Por lo tanto, no necesariamente empe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear and the Corona Virus

By
Dear Friends,                                        Fear and the Corona Virus In some self-reflection I have come to see that I have been unconsciously enveloped in a fear over the coronavirus pandemic. I feel paralyzed and hopeless. I noticed I feel I just have to turn the radio on to keep up on what is happening. Each time I hear more figures on how it is getting worse everywhere in the world, it fills my mind, the focus of much of what I think about. When I came to see this was happening, I noticed I wanted to just turn on the radio, and it was and is hard to turn it off. Just about everything on the radio was related to the virus. In reflecting I realized this subconscious fear permeated me. This fear was not healthy. It was creating anxiousness and anxiety, and anything but peace and contentment. This fear was what I needed to get rid of. From a Dr. Bruce Lipton...
Post a Comment
Read more

un acontecimiento esperanzador

By
amigos,  un acontecimiento esperanzador  este es un acontecimiento esperanzador! Hace dos años, Etiopía era un caso estancado. El gobierno parecía estar perdiendo el control. La mayoría de las personas Oromo estaban inquietas bajo una regla que parecía robarles su lugar. La tradicionalmente poderosa Amhara se amotinó. Un estado de emergencia trajo silencio en la superficie, pero debajo de la nación se arremolinaba. Una Guerra civil amenazaba. Un extranjero fue asesinado. El turismo disminuyó. Finalmente, el primer ministro renunció. La iglesia oró fervientemente. Luego, inesperadamente, hace ocho meses, el relativamente desconocido Abiy Ahmad fue elegido primer ministro. Lo que siguió fue igualmente imprevisto. En un audaz y valiente discurso de aceptación; Ahmad anunció una política de paz, amor y unidad para la nación y sus relaciones con el resto del mundo. Hizo grandes promesas y para sorpresa en un mundo cínico de promesas políticas, las cumplió. "Necesita...
Post a Comment
Read more