Hello, Friend February 15, 2012
Creating On Earth Peace in my church.
Henry: I really appreciate the way you reach out to people here at Living Water Mennonite Community church. Your example and practice is a very important and good part of our church. We have been best friends for a long time.
Henry continuing: But I just want to let you know that when I talked to you about changing Pot Lucks to two times a month I really felt you didn’t take me seriously. I felt dismissed, and that really offended me. I’ve been stewing over this ever since that happened over 2 years ago. I feel it has broken the goodness of the close relationship that God had given us.
Judy (paraphrasing back): You really felt hurt when you talked to me about changing the Pot Lucks. You felt I dismissed you and did not take you seriously. You have been stewing over this for years now. It hurt you to lose our closeness. I am really sorry.
Henry: I think that sums it up pretty well. It is good to hear those words from you.
Theresa: Henry, what could you have done differently to avoid this?
Henry: I could have talked to Judy long ago: that would have resolved this much sooner. I would not have had to go through so much hurt. I probably would have been a bigger help to the church if I had done that.
Judy: I am ready to forgive you. Let's hug and start over.
This is a theoretical short version of dialogues that happened in a workshop on Saturday as our church community worked on building peace and unity among our people. The workshop was led by 2 persons from On Earth Peace, an organization of Church of the Brethren.
We first wrote down a hurt and the person who hurt us. The brothers and/or sisters then sat face to face, plus a mediator, all in the middle of a circle of some 40 from our church. The On Earth Peace mediator helped keep them using “I “statements, focusing on how it made them feel, and kept them from getting into theory or blaming each other.
There must have been 20 some interactions of persons being quite vulnerable before the church practicing Matthew 18. It healed lots of relationships and was an encouragement for all of us to examine, face, and deal with our conflicts in the way Jesus taught. It was a very heavy day, but very refreshing to see Matthew 18 not just talked about but practiced. One brother remarked, “This is the kind of Anabaptist church I want to be part of.”
This occasion came about as a way to help us work on developing new leadership for our church. We have been working on this for nearly 3 years. As a church we have several groups of people, including Cambodian, Africa African, Nepalese, black and white North American, and a Hispanic group; some do not speak English. All this makes for complex interactions as we seek to find unity and leadership that can serve everybody well.
Say a prayer for us as we seek God’s help in this challenge.
Shalom, Jim
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